White. Predominantly. The only thing my mind could take in. A place, completely whitewashed to stay in. Safe. Until, shadows seep in. And break off into shapes, rushing off, in, around. A swirl of starched white with a flurry of arms, heads, faces that you think you should focus on, must focus on. After all they might be important. Telling you, please move outside, as they draw curtains shutting them off. Shutting you out.
Nightmares. That sinking sensation of being sucked down into quicksand. Mouth wide open in a silent scream. Tongue dry-glued to the roof of your mouth. Jellied limbs, torturous, as you try to move, to escape whatever danger pursues you.
But at least, you wake up from nightmares.
Just not this one. No, not this one. This was one nightmare that threatened to entrap one completely, eternally in its murky depths.
That nauseating feeling that reality is about to intrude. And then when you awake with a swirling of thoughts, you realise the nightmare is a certainty and you are alone. Your loved one is gone.